ALLONS-Y!


Ashley; 21; Bisexual.
Vancouver, Washington.


S H E R L O C K E D


College student studying Psychology.


I suffer from depression and anxiety and borderline personality disorder, hope that doesn't bother you much.


Instagram

Posted: 2 hours ago ● 148 notesReblog

(Source: the-hero-of-legend, via the-gossip-stone)

Posted: 2 hours ago ● 283,427 notesReblog

she-wants-the-eod:

favabean05:

A very accurate depiction of a cat owner.

Also drunk people

(Source: briannathestrange, via sophisticated-ignoranceee)

Posted: 2 hours ago ● 436,770 notesReblog

justmyflawedlogic:

hamacidal:

ultrafunnypictures:

You can read up to 500 words per minute

THIS MADE ME CRY WHAT THE FUCK

I have an android app that does this and let me tell you, reading slashfic at 700wpm is a near-spiritual experience.

I can read 800wpm

(via the-disney-life)

Posted: 2 hours ago ● 4,960 notesReblog

mickeyandcompany:

Happy birthday, Jodi Benson!

(via the-disney-life)

Posted: 2 hours ago ● 3,691 notesReblog

(Source: katherinesage, via roug3)

Posted: 2 hours ago ● 2,078 notesReblog

nyjahatuatao:

Scottmove

(via late-sunshine)

Posted: 2 hours ago ● 151,028 notesReblog

carrotcatmd:

STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. 

I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill. 

Me: ‘Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.’ Server: ‘That’ll be $1.04. Eat in?’ 
Me: ‘No, it’s to go.’ At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny. 
Server: ‘Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.’ He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: ‘Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?’ 
Manager: ‘No. A what?’ 
Server: ‘A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me…’ 
Manager: ‘Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.’ 
Server: ‘Yeah, thought so.’ 

He comes back to me and says, ‘We don’t take these.

Do you have anything else?’ 

Me: ‘Just this fifty. You don’t take $2 bills? Why? 
Server: ‘I don’t know.’ 
Me: ‘See here where it says legal tender?’ 
Server: ‘Yeah.’ 
Me: ‘So, why won’t you take it?’ 
Server: ‘Well, hang on a sec.’ 

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, ‘He says I have to take it.’

Manager: ‘Doesn’t he have anything else?’ 
Server: ‘Yeah, a fifty. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change. 
Manager: ‘I’m not opening the safe with him in here.’ 
Server: ‘What should I do?’ 
Manager: ‘Tell him to come back later when he has real money.’ 
Server: ‘I can’t tell him that! You tell him.’ 
Manager: ‘Just tell him.’ 
Server: ‘No way! This is weird. I’m going in back. 

The manager approaches me and says, ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night.’

Me: ‘It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.’ 
Manager: ‘We don’t take those, either.’ 
Me: ‘Why not?’ 
Manager: ‘I think you know why.’ 
Me: ‘No really, tell me why.’ 
Manager ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
Me: ‘Excuse me?’ 
Manager: ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
Me: ‘What on earth for?’ 
Manager: ‘Please, sir..’ 
Me: ‘Uh, go ahead, call them.’ 
Manager: ‘Would you please just leave?’ 
Me: ‘No.’ 
Manager: ‘Fine — have it your way then.’ 
Me: ‘Hey, that’s Burger King, isn’t it?’ 

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in. 

Guard: ‘Yeah, Mike, what’s up?’ 
Manager (whispering): ‘This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.’ 
Guard: ‘No kidding! What?’ 
Manager: ‘Get this. A two dollar bill.’ 
Guard (incredulous): ‘Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?’ 
Manager: ‘I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.’ 
Guard: ‘Oh, so the fifty’s fake!’ 
Manager: ‘No, the two dollar bill is.’ 
Guard: ‘Why would he fake a two dollar bill?’ 
Manager : ‘I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?’ 
Guard: ‘Yeah.’


Security Guard walks over to me and……

Guard: ‘Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.’ 
Me: ‘Uh, no.’ 
Guard: ‘Lemme see ‘em.’ 
Me: ‘Why?’ 
Guard: ‘Do you want me to get the cops in here?’ 

At this point I’m ready to say, ‘Sure, please!’ but I want to eat, so I say, ‘I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 

Guard: ‘Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?’ 
Manager: ‘It’s fake.’ 
Guard: ‘It doesn’t look fake to me.’ 
Manager: ‘But it’s a two dollar bill.’ 
Guard: ‘Yeah? ‘ 
Manager: ‘Well, there’s no such thing, is there?’ 

The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. 

(via giiirrrlllmyballsbeitchy)

Posted: 2 hours ago ● 279,115 notesReblog

gallopingtormaunt:

lucithor:

Hey, adults of the world

How about instead of making kids terrified to ever fuck up

You teach them how to cope with the aftermath of fucking up and fix it as best they can

That way they’re not so overwhelmed with anxiety every time there’s even so much as a chance of making mistakes that they never try anything and dread making decisions because of it

THIS

(Source: spookyrnormonhelldream, via i-n-e-f-f-a-b-l-e-m-e)

Posted: 2 hours ago ● 31,929 notesReblog
Posted: 2 hours ago ● 424,765 notesReblog

lecterings:

'where is the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago' an autobiography i'll never write because i keep losing the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago.

(via giiirrrlllmyballsbeitchy)

Posted: 2 hours ago ● 293,957 notesReblog
Posted: 2 hours ago ● 2,703 notesReblog
Posted: 2 hours ago ● 876,526 notesReblog

cityofathena:

honk-honk-its-gamzee:

moistchunkyslurp:

annabellebanna:

omg i am laughing so hard at the Miss Universe costume category

image

you got poland lookin nice

image

Namibia workin it

image

Costa Rica goin big, what did you expect

image

Haiti fuckin rockin it

image

Great Britain got damn

image

Switzerland hell yeah

and then

image

….Miss USA.

we had to be a fucking transformer

is this real life

reblogging this again just to add
image

canada HAD TO BE a fuckign mountie are you kidding me

but did you guys see this: 

image

DAMN MÉXICO

(via basicvanitas)

Posted: 2 hours ago ● 94,488 notesReblog
Posted: 2 hours ago ● 220,117 notesReblog

gutsygumshoe:

one time some guy asked for my number and he was really nice but i’m in a relationship so i just said so and he was like “no worries, take it as flattery then”

THAT’S how you handle rejection, not by stabbing a girl in the fucking neck

(via justalittledisneygirl)